2 candle flames. Extinguished.
I'm surprised people do still read my blog. Heh. Unfortunately, some people have read contents that were pretty outdated. The previous post was directly after "The Lesson" and I was still effing pissed about the whole situation. I was naive. I was stupid. And I couldn't think things through. I'm sorry if some people have seen my previous blog post and thought of me as a fucker. Ahem. And yes. Your blog post has scarred me. Though I apologised at least 10 times, be it in MSN or via SMS, AFTER I posted the blog post, but I still see you angry at me for a "spur of the moment" action. But that's not the point. The day after, which was a Saturday, I've thought about it and I've already apologised two days after. Or don't you take notice of the date? I know I was rash with my actions and my words without finding out the real story behind everything. I apologise. Putting this confusion aside, it still does not change the fact that I've reflected and I'm now sombre and repentant of what I've said. After all, fire doesn't work with fire.
Thanks to a certain person, I realised that you've done your work after all, but it's just that, I've not seen it. Perhaps it was due to the fact I kept on interrupting and thus, you guys didn't have your fair chance to show your work. I sincerely apologise. But the fact does remain that, if you did your work, which you guys did, you needn't have relied on my resources and trust your own instead. Why must you follow what I've said? Also, I'm not the leader. Just a regular member. If you did do your work, which you claim, then there would be no problems doing the notice of meeting at all, isn't it? Hey! Perhaps you could even point out my mistake and tell the rest too.
But nonetheless, I
foresee that after Communication Skills 2, I'd lose the friendship of several people. But meanwhile, while I'm still in the middle of the project, I'd like to thank you guys that you've taught me what it really means to be a group. A team needs co-ordination and I've learnt it the hard way. Thank for all the laughter, fun, peace and joy that you've given me throughout my first year in poly. Alas, due to a simple project, friendships can extinguish like a simple candle flame going out. Curses and swears may be directed at me for what I've done and what I've said, but I'm currently feeling what I've been feeling for the past 2 days. Guilt. Sadness. Worry. Simply put: Depression.
King, Sean, thank you for the comfort you gave me when I was conflicting with them. Thank you, King, for smsing me on that day: 1st February 2008, saying that it's alright and it always happens and that it will be okay. Though you had half my marks and that you should be angry with me for everything, SO MUCH MORE than the other group members, but you didn't. You told me that it wasn't my fault and that it was alright. It really helped a lot. Thank you.
Well.. Since this signals the end of the friendships, it should be the end of my blog post as well. *sigh* Hopefully all goes well.
To all those who really care for me, Furt, my best friends and true friends, Mel C, Mel Q, Jit, Siong, Nise, Shar, Darr, Ben, everyone...
Pray for me. And you will receive in return.
God bless.
Get into good uni
Whooshies!
January 2007